So Close Yet So Far

by Mike Juha

Our paths crossed one day.  After a few getting-to-knows, we became so close as if we had known each other for so long. 

My heart had been captured by your spell.  And all that my mind could imagine was you.

Since that time, my little world revolved around you. I think about you every time – in my works, in the midst of a crowd, when I get up from bed, or before I go to sleep.  The thought of you haunts me even in my dreams.  I see your smile in every face. I hear your giggles in every laughter, and I feel your touch as the wind blows through my skin.

I picture you in every new friend I meet, in every place I go, and in everything I do. And whenever I’m happy or sad, it’s your face I see...

But between us lie great barriers and horizons to cross. My heart beats your rhythm but you don’t feel it.  And even if I shout this feeling to the highest peak of my voice, you never hear it. You are so close but yet so far away from me.

So I close my eyes and there I see you come alive to my senses. The world is only between you and me. The heavens are within my reach and the oceans are just a step apart. And you are there – just a heartbeat away.There, you smile back at me. We touch each other. We stare straight into each other’s eyes, and our thoughts meet. We kiss and our hearts beat together as one. I shout loud to the highest peak of my voice this feeling as you answer it back with a whisper in my ears.  

There, every tick of a second spells like endlessness. We go to the beach. We cuddle in each other’s arms. We talk of nonsense. We watch at the vast nothingness. We pretend to reach the horizons as we meander barefooted and hand in hand by the sandy shore. 

There, we don’t care about the world. We play lovers’ games. We do crazy things. We explore and fill up each other’s longings. We fathom the depths and the heights of our personhood, until our emotions consume us and we reach the summit of our burning passions.

But as the sun finally sets and the crimson sky turns darker and darker and envelopes our little world, we come to realize that happiness is transient that not even the deepest love nor the strongest feelings on earth have the power to hold on or turn back the hands of time.

Then I wake up from my deep slumber and find myself alone. My grieving heart bleeds to search for you. And you weren’t there. 

I give up and close my eyes. And there, in the corners of my mind, I see your face again – so close but yet so far away…